This afternoon I left work early to go to high tea at the Shirley-Eustis (SE) House in Roxbury as part of the "Discover Roxbury" food series. The house is the only remaining country house in America built by a British Royal Colonial Governor. The missus and I were wed there. Check it out:
http://www.shirleyeustishouse.org. HEADS-UP: the grounds are covered with fruit trees that can be harvested by anyone. Apricots are due in a couple of weeks.
High tea is distinguished by low tea by the time of day it's served -- 4:00 - 6:00 and sometimes there's alcohol (low is earlier and dry). Gooseberries were passed for us to sample as Chef Nadine Nelson who prepared our bites described the menu and the locally grown treats (of which gooseberries were one). Gooseberries look like vintage grape-green marbles with soft grey/brown striations. Their skins are tight like plum skins and their flesh feels like green tomato. They burst in your mouth with tart and citrus goodness. If you can find them, try them.
Andrea Taafe is the Executive Director of the house. She talked at length about the importance of neighborliness -- residents connecting with institutions and vice versa. It got me to thinking about Professor Gates (Who isn't thinking about him these days?) and the mission of Discover Roxbury. How we all work so hard to dismantle perceptions.
I had a fascinating conversation with a colleague, who is white and shared what she described as the "pervasive liberal white perspective" on the matter: Professor Gates is arrogant, got what he deserved and is trying to promote his next book/project. I was stunned (and she was too)! Not the uppity-n-word accusation!
What can we do about this? How did Gates' neighbor manage to mistake him for a robber? How does one get pulled out of their house and arrested for peaceful discontent? I saw an article on NPR.org today that said the Cambridge cop that arrested Gates is a diversity expert on the force. See:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=122053508216&h=46Ids&u=f4Aof&ref=nf Does this excuse him? Are we supposed to swallow the "he's bias-free" pablum? It fascinating how our particular lens shapes our view of this situation.
I'm no victim but not a single day goes by without me being reminded of my race. Sometimes it's the demoralizing billboard ads featured in my neighborhood. Other times it's white colleagues diminishing my ideas then word-smithing them and claiming them for their own. I struggle with how to behave. "Should I Tom?", "Should I finger-wag, eye and neck roll?" or "Should pretend like I'm a wise mammy and teach the pretty-not-black-babies?" The shit is deep, sad and frankly, tiresome.
Most days I focus the hazel browns on my listener (what?!) and serve up a big dose of me. HEADS-UP: The good thing about getting older: You don't worry so much about what others think:0)
I employed this technique rather effectively last night at Rosie's Place where Pam and I are responsible for dinner preparations as part of Trinity Church's service ministries one night (sometimes two) per month (Interested in serving? Find your passion:
http://www.nationalservice.gov/Default.aspI was slightly intimidated by the white professionals I was charged to lead: a college professor whose spouse is a dean, a lawyer, a public policy wonk, a pediatric intensive care nurse and more! I had to force myself to remember that we were all there to work and I was the leader (along with Pam, of course). I took a deep breath and got busy: "X (aka Dr. X), please wash the potatoes (40 pounds of' em y'all) . Y, Esq and Nurse Z please help X. So glad to see you again this month! When you're done, guys, we need to chop like nobody's business. The potatoes must be in the oven by 4:45 PM. Questions? Thank you! You are awesome!"
I was wracked with excess energy by the end of the meal so danced it off with Michelle Bach-Coulibaly at the Dance Complex. It was fantastic. Check her out at:
http://www.brown.edu/Departments/Theatre_Speech_Dance/people/bach-coulibaly.html).
You know what made it all good? The seconds line. Guests of every race, creed, color, age and sexual orientation were on it (Funny? Hunger doesn't discriminate). They wanted more and I was, in part, responsible (the menu: salmon burgers on a whole wheat bun, herb-roasted potatoes, fresh salad and watermelon). I sat with Natasha, a guest, when I finally got to sit down (it's important to me to talk to the ladies we cook for at meal time plus the dogs were barking). Natasha told me everything was great and she emphasized this by ditching me and my small talk to get seconds.
There is one elder though who describes herself as "picky". She said the meal was "so-so". My goal is for her tell me: "I loved it". It's a tall order but hey you gotta reach. Right? I have a year to work on it. Wish me luck.
